Autism in my life

In honor of Anaya graduating from Speech and Occupational therapy I felt like I should talk a little about my thoughts about how Autism has changed my life. This is only one blog post, honestly I could write a whole book about it. I won't talk a lot about specifics, just the thoughts I have today.

Over the years I have dealt with Autism in the people in my life I have imagined what it would be like if I had filmed us. What would our movie look like. The beginning would be easy, it would be a romantic comedy. If you know me and my husband at all you would agree. We were with other people when we met. I lost a set of grandparents not long after we met.  My husband was challenged to a fight by my ex-boyfriend. I tried to date other people and even planned to go off to college two hours away but my husband was undaunted. He visited me, sang to me, and I fell in love with him. He asked me to marry him in his car in the middle of a monsoon storm. And yes we got our fairy tale wedding at the end.

Fast forward to the time when we have three children and we still, as of yet,  did not really understand that not only did David have a form of Autism but so did two of our daughters. This movie would be a drama, there would be me running children places trying to keep my head above water. There would be tender moments with my children. Scenes of frustration and arguing with my husband (we were not perfect then nor are we now.) There would be scenes with a therapist trying to help us communicate better.  The pivotal point in the movie would be me being scared and frustrated that my youngest daughter was not able to communicate and I could not understand her behaviors. My friend who had an Autistic child would shine a light on what I could not see and help me move on in my process to get my daughter diagnosed. Yes, you would have seen me in flurry of activity. Making phone calls, scheduling appointments, meeting with doctors and therapists.

The diagnosis was a relief and had a waterfall effect. There would be more doctor appointments for David and our other daughter. Yes, Autism was what was causing all the issues that I could not understand. Thus began my journey of understanding. At the beginning of my journey I had a decision to make, I had to decide how I was going to handle things and realize that that would change over time. I would treat all of my daughters like typical children until they showed me they could not handle it. I wanted them to have what other children had. I knew that in some ways they wouldn't have a "normal life" as we were not a "normal" family. I decided that I would love my husband for who he was not what I thought he should be.

Again there would be scenes of my husband and I reading books, learning everything we could about Autism. There would be scenes of me taking my youngest daughter to therapy, trying to keep up my relationship with my other daughters and me crying in hallways when it all became too much. There would be glimmers of hope, like when Anaya learned sign language and began to talk. The first time we were able to get through an entire dinner without Anaya trying to escape. The first time we took all three of our daughters to a movie and were able to stay the whole time.

There would still be sad moments, like when my other daughters would complain that they were stuck at home all the time and could not go places. When my middle daughter would cry and ask me why I did not play with her more. (My heart breaks all over again just typing that sentence.) I was one woman trying to care for three children with many needs while her husband battled his own issues while working and going to school full time. We fought and cried and tried to do all we could to be good parents and good spouses. Sometime we still fall short.

There would be difficult scenes, like my battle with my local public school district. It was heartbreaking to sit in a meeting with the very people I believed could help my daughter on her educational journey and be told they would not do anything further to help her. I had to again make a difficult choice to give my daughters a better life. I chose to take my daughters outside of public education and put them in a charter school. This was a miracle we had prayed for and it gave us what we needed to see our daughters progress.

There are many other scenes that have happened over the last 7 years but my favorite are the days when I realized that my husband and my daughters were going to be okay. Life would be different for them and sometimes difficult. I felt hope knowing that I would be there for them. Our families would be there for us too. Now that Anaya is onto a different stage in her journey people ask me what I will be doing with my self now that I am not taking Anaya to therapy 3 times a week. This where the movie shows that I will continue to do what I do now. I advocate for my daughters, I work with them, and I am still learning how to be their mother and a wife to my  husband. This is where you get the idea that life will go on and it is going to be good and yes you hope for a sequel where all my daughters are grown up and happy. I hope for that too.

Been a long time, lonely, lonely time

So its been awhile since I have written and since my last post much has happened. I am not going to talk about most of it. I lost my dog Shadow in April and since then I have been missing him.

Last week I rescued two tabby kittens, Solomon and Gideon. Taking care of them for two days made me miss my Shadow even more.

I started thinking that, maybe, since I am not ready for another dog yet that I should get a plant.  I could take care of a plant and it's not expensive. I could give it water, nutrients, sunshine, and talk to it like I used to talk to my dog.

I would say, "Hey plant, how are you today?"

The plant would say, "I have a name, you know."

"Really?" I would say. And then the plant would tell me its name is Susan or Bob or George or Paris Hilton or Dale Earnhardt Jr.

I would say, "Well George don't die on me like all my other plants have."

George would ask,"What did you do to the others?!?!"

I would be defensive,"Nothing! Sheesh, I mean I watered them and gave them sunshine. I don't know what happened!"

George would question me, "Did you water them too much or too little?"

"I don't know all of you are different and I just don't know what to do." I would say.

"All of us?" George would say, totally offended. "I am not a tree or shrub, I am a unique plant you know."

I would apologize. "George I am sorry, you are right. You are your own plant."

George would ask me,"What are you going to do to make things better this time?"

"I will research your unique plant type and try to give you the best soil, I will water you and make sure you get the best sunshine." I am hoping George will agree.

"That's good for starters," George says. And then George gives a list of special things he requires:  Maroon 5 playing in the afternoon, I can't talk to him about girlie stuff, he wants only west facing sun, he says to never leave dishes on the counter near him, and not to speak to him before 9am because he is not a morning person.

I say, "Your being outrageous."

George says,"That's the way it is, if you don't like it too bad."

And at this point I put the plant back on the palette at Home Depot and walk away.

Maybe I will get a Beta Fish in a bowl....yeah that's not too much effort right?

Blogger- A story of the least helpful "Help" anywhere on the web

I needed to vent about Blogger today. I recently decided to create a separate blog for all my crafty stuff. I went to blogger and tried to do this. What happened is that the blog got created twice, not my fault as far as I can tell. I will not describe in detail what ensued over the next few days but deleting, trying to restore, and postings in help forum happened. You shouldn't make me angry it's not a good thing.....

Honestly, what I want to know is why is Blogger so unhelpful? I followed every help procedure they have posted and some I found in other places. I am so mad right now. There is no e-mail to contact Blogger to get help with your account, only pages of endless crap in hopes you will get some kind of contact form you can fill out so that someone will help you. But, no you cannot e-mail Blogger directly for help- you have to post your question in the "Help Forum" and hope that someone answers your question. Seriously?!? I am married to a pretty tech savvy man and he told me it was ridiculous how Blogger has you running around in circles trying to figure out how to solve your problem. Still awaiting a response at this time.....

Fire!

I received a Kindle Fire as an early Christmas present and I am loving it. Books, magazines, etc etc etc! I am enjoying it all. Now I have tons of books where ever I go. So fun!

Upcoming Classes I am teaching at Scrap Happy Sisters!

You all know Halloween is my favorite Holiday (besides Christmas) so I am teaching a haunted house album. Here is a peak at it (it will have blue rings not the big silver ones, just wanted you to know.) I will post more pictures next week. Here are the details. Date: Saturday, October 15th from 2pm to 5pm. The cost of the class is: $38.00 What to bring: Pencil, scissors, paper trimmer, 3-in-1 glue, glue dots, Tom bow (dry adhesive) hole punch or crop-o-dile, 3-in-1 glue or Zip Dry (wet glue),and black ink. Call Scrap Happy Sisters if you are interested at 623-376-8257.

My November class is a wall hanging. This is a fun piece to have by your front door or anywhere you want to greet people. Here are the details. Date:Saturday, November 19th from 4pm to 6pm. Cost of the class is around $25, that's not final yet. What to bring: Pencil, scissors, paper trimmer, 3-in-1 glue, glue dots, Tom bow (dry adhesive), 3-in-1 glue or Zip Dry (wet glue),and brown ink. Call Scrap Happy Sisters if you are interested at 623-376-8257.

Feeling crafty!

I just wanted to share some projects I have been working lately. The first project is a diaper clutch I made for my sister-in-law who is due to have my new niece any day now. I got the pattern from Simple Quilts & Sewing Magazine Issue #121 pages 44-46. I love this project because it came together quickly and its something I wish I had when I was having babies. The clutch holds a diaper mat, a small package of wipes, and a couple diapers. Its perfect to fit in your purse or keep in your car. You close it up by wrapping the ribbon around the button. I can't wait to make more of these.

I had another baby card that has been long overdue making. My friend April is a patient new mom, who realizes that I don't always have it together. I think her chunky cute little man Dylan is just amazing.

Unfulfilled expectations

Okay so I told you all awhile back that I was taking another scrapbook that started on August 15th. I started the "Words to Live By" class by Big Picture. Well, I hate to say it but I am totally DISAPPOINTED. I am not sure what I expected for a free class, well not totally free by my choice because I bought the kit ($37.00) that they advertised for the class. I guess I had forgotten my cardinal rule of scrapbook classes: DO NOT SIGN UP FOR ANYTHING UNLESS YOU CAN SEE THE FINISHED PROJECT YOU ARE MAKING! I live by this, heck, its why I like teaching. People see what I have made and then decide if they want to take my class. Needless to say, I am trying to make an attitude adjustment and may attempt to do the projects for the class. I have until August 28th to finish it to enter into their drawings but its going to be a challenge I can already tell.

Up coming classes I am teaching

I am teaching this cute car shaped album this month; here are the details:

Class title: Road trip

Class date & time: Saturday, August 27, 2011 from 2pm to 5pm 

Cost: $21.00

Location: Scrap Happy Sisters 67th Avenue and Happy Valley Road

Telephone number: (623) 376-8257

Items to bring: pencil, ruler, scissors, wet adhesive like 3-in-1 glue or Zip Dry, glue dots or dry adhesive like Tom Bow (tape runner.) Crop-o-dile or hole punch. File set or sand paper.

I have limited number of spots in my class so if you are interested don't wait to sign up!

                                                            My September 24th Class

 

Class title: Tag you're it!

Class description: Create a tag album that has it's own cute box, to display your photos in a fun and unique way using Bo Bunny Ad lib papers and stickers.

Class Date & Time: Saturday, September 24^th, 2:00pm to 5:00pm

Class Cost: $32.00

Location: Scrap Happy Sisters 67th Avenue and Happy Valley Road

Telephone number: (623) 376-8257

What to bring: a ruler, a pencil, scissors, a nail file or precision file set, paper trimmer, crop-o-dile or paper piercer, brown ink, and liquid glue.

I have limited number of spots in my class so if you are interested don't wait to sign up!

I am taking a scrapbooking class - again!

I enrolled myself in a Big Picture Scrapbooking class that starts on August 15th and ends on August 27th. Ha ha just in time for my last child to start school! I seriously think I could get addicted to online scrapbooking classes. I have plans to sign myself up for another online card class in November. I just thought I would share my fun!

Christmas in July Day 22 The birth of Jesus Christ

Every year on Christmas Eve my family and I read the story of Jesus Christ's birth from the New Testament in the Bible. Luke Chapters 1 & 2. Before I had children of my own I did not truly understand the faith Mary would have to have had to be the mother of the Savior. And Joseph would have been an exceptional man to go against Jewish law and marry Mary while she was pregnant. They had trials to overcome, traveling to Bethlehem, and hiding from Herod in Egypt.

I know that I am grateful that the Savior was born, lived, taught the gospel, and died for me. At Christmas we celebrate Jesus Christ birth but we also practice what he preached: charity and love. 

I hope that although I have talked about many things during my Christmas in July celebration, that what I tried to share is that giving to and serving others is what Christmas is all about. I believe that Jesus Christ is my Savior and that through his sacrifice I can live with God again someday. I hope and pray that for the rest of this year that I and all that I share with will take the spirit of charity and put it into action. 

Christmas in July Day 21 Salvation Army Angel Tree Program

As a family we started participating in the Salvation Army Angel Program when the girls were little because they were getting a nasty case of the "I wants." So each year the girls pick an angel off the tree and buy a present for a boy or girl who wouldn't otherwise have presents. This reminds my children that one of the most important lessons in life is that it is better to give to others than to worry about what you will receive in return. I know this has made an impression on my daughters because they remind me each year as soon as they see one of the Angel trees go up. Its the end of July but you can take your Christmas spirit out now and participate in a back to school drive to help less fortunate children get the school supplies they need.

Christmas in July Day 20 Cookies Round 2 Peanut butter-candy bar brownies

Oh yes, friends more Christmas Cookies, I promised I would let you down. Here are my cookies.

Here is the recipe:

Seriously read the ingredients, its an insane amount chocolate peanut butter goodness!

Christmas in July Day 19 Christmas Eve and Serving others

Today is July 24th and in my way I like to compare it to December 24th. December 24th is my Dad's birthday and that reminded me of the Christmas Eves my mother, sisters, and I spent serving the officers of the Phoenix police force dinner. My father was a police officer for 35 years. I was 34 when he retired and honestly I was sad in a way that my children would never get to serve the people who protect them everyday like I did. You see many officers worked on Christmas Eve which meant dinner was usually fast food or whatever food they could get if places were closed. This was back 20 years ago when restaurants and other places were not open 24 hours a day. So, my father and mother would cook food and my sisters and I would dress up in dresses and go feed the officers my father worked with on Christmas Eve.  It wasn't really until I was a teenager that I realized that the sacrifices my family was making were appreciated very much by those officers. To this day I cannot tell you any names of the officers we fed but I remember the look on my Dad's face as those officers thanked him for caring about them.  Who can you serve and help? Can you donate your time? Can you donate food? Can you open a door for someone? Can you smile at someone and brighten their day? Why not start today? 

Christmas in July Day 18 Going to see Santa Claus

I am pretty sure my parents took my sisters and I to see Santa when we were little. I usually had a long list of things I wanted for Christmas to tell him. When I became a Mom I thought I would take my daughters to see Santa. Mostly this backfired on me; my children were either too scared or did not want to go. The picture above of my Anaya with Santa is probably one of two pictures in the last 12 years of one of my children with Santa. I know why my children were hesitant and I didn't force them to go once I realized why they didn't want to. Did you visit Santa? Do your children like going to see Santa?

Summer Card Camp 2011 Week 4

I am sad that this card class is over but I have had a great time working with color combinations I never would have thought to use. I have loved the sketches and the videos. I wish all my scrapping friends could have taken this class it was great! Here is my card for week 4.

Christmas in July Day 17 Gifts for Teachers - Christmas Card Keeper

When my girls started going to school I would make gifts for their teachers for Christmas gifts. Over the years my favorite gift to make has become a Christmas Card holder that the teachers can hang up in their classroom. Its a nice place for the teachers to keep all the cards and notes they get from their students and then they can take it home and keep the cards they receive at home as well.

Christmas in July Day 16 - Christmas in July Celebrations

I was unaware of this but the city next to mine, Glendale, had a Christmas in July Celebration recently. Their was a street fair, sales at the down town stores, and even Santa. I want to thank my friend Tina for letting me know about it. Does the town you live in have a Christmas in July Celebration? Does your favorite store have a Christmas in July sale that you shop at each year?

Christmas in July Day 15 Traditions Food gifts

The Christmas tradition I wanted to talk about today is giving food gifts. You have already seen the Christmas cookies but I also give other types of food gifts. The tin I decorated in the above photo I filled with toffee and fudge in 2006. Other years, I had made breads,peanut brittle, and even Texas sheet cake. I usually take the food gifts to people local so that the food stays fresh.

 

I have also been the recipient of many plates of goodies over the years from friends and family members. One of my favorite food items to get from my friends is Divinity, I love that sweet fluffy stuff. I have yet to learn to make Divinity maybe I will learn someday. What food gifts do you make for others? Have you tried anything new?

Christmas in July Day 14 Traditions Christmas Dinner

Every year we have Christmas dinner. Dinner might be with our extended family or just the 5 of us at home. Each year the menu is different; one year it might be traditional with turkey and trimmings (see the fabulous turkey David made in 2007 up above) and the next  year Mexican food with tamales and enchiladas. The other favorite thing I love at Christmas time is my mother Marilyn's cheesecake. I LOVE her cheesecake. I learned to make it just because its so darn good. (See the cheesecake I made below in 2006) What traditions do you have for dinner? Do you eat anything special? Do you eat on Christmas Eve?

Christmas in July Day 11 Traditions Opening gifts

When my daughters were little we decided that we would try different ideas about how to open the presents on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. I wanted to avoid the "dash and trash" that did not allow the girls to really appreciate the gifts they were given. I didn't want my girls to look at a gift for 5 seconds and then toss it on the pile. What we do is we give the girls one present to open on Christmas Eve. On Christmas morning the girls get to look at what Santa brought them. When David and I join the girls we all take turns opening one gift at a time so we can ooh and aah over everyone's gifts. We also decided to limit the gifts that were given (see my note of 5 seconds per gift and then it goes on a pile.) The picture above is from 2010, that's my Lela being photo surprised while opening her gifts. What traditions does your family have? Do you wake up at dawn to open gifts on Christmas morning? Do you open on Christmas Eve? If you get a gift on Christmas Eve is it a special gift, pajamas maybe?